Standard repost for the non-myspace crowds.

And then there’s me.

At the beginning of the month I noticed that I was getting alot of traffic on myspace.
Profile views we're averaging 30 a day.
Blog reads were getting ridiculous.
Alot of random messages from ladies I've never met before.
During one of the interactions I came across the reason why.

Apparently I had myself a craigslist posting.
Men seeking Women.
Had a more recent pic of me taken durin' a bar-hopping night.
Direct link to my myspace profile.
I'm guessin' it was well-written because most of the ladies I met weren't crazies.
It got taken down before I got to see it.

Basically, one of my friends posted a want ad for me without my knowledge.
And because I feel like my stories can give people that haven't met me yet the wrong impression...
Manwhore, manslut, and/or playa playa.
I'm just gonna introduce myself usin' one of those random surveys that float around the bulletins.
Creative.
I can be.

The History of Reggie
1. Raised in: San Diego county
2. Planned baby: ideally it is
3. Birth date: June 5, 1982
4. Any siblings: Two brothers, all 5 yrs. apart
5. Younger or older: One older, one younger
6. Hair color: black with an occasional sexy sprinklin' of white
7. Hair length: shaved, got tired of maintenence again
8. First school: that I remember.... Pomerado Elementary
9. Eye color: Brown
10. Shoe size: 11, bigger than the average asian
11. Mood: penguin
12. Smell: like a minty fresh breath of heaven
13. Height: 6'2 an' breakin' down stereotypes
14. Lefty/righty: gemini, ambidextrous

LOVE LIFE:
1. Do you remember your first real relationship? yes, she won't let me forget
2. Do you believe in love? yuppers
3. Shortest relationship? both serious relationships were 3 1/2 years
4. Have you ever been heartbroken? and that's why I practice with puzzles
5. Are you liking someone now? define "liking"
6. Have you ever fallen for a friend? tried that once an' it ended horribly
7. Are you afraid of commitment? only if they demand it after 2 weeks of dating
8. Do you believe in love at first sight? when they inspire more than just a hard-on right?

THIS OR THAT:
1. Love or money? "The best things in life are free..."
2. Coffee or alcohol? they work hand in hand
3. One night stands or relationships? relationships
4. Television or internet? internet
5. Pepsi or coke? coke, mixes better
6. Fun night out or romantic night in? depends on the significant other, I'm customizeable
7. Phone or in Person? was that a sex question?

HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? never had the opportunity

2. Have you ever skinny dipped? yes

3. Have you ever done something you regret? more than likely

4. Have you ever been on a house boat? yea... that's I story I don't bring up often

5. Have you ever finished an entire jawbreaker? I usually end up losing them an' have to follow the ant trail the next day to find 'em

6. Have you ever colored your hair? good ol' acting gigs

7. Have you ever been streaking? it's not as fun if you're in the front

ARE YOU:
1. Are you missing someone right now? maybe subconciously
2. Are you talking to anyone right now? I like making friends
3. Are you German? nein
4. Are you Italian? nope
5. Are you French? no
6. Are you Russian? nyet
7. Are you Norwegian? nada
8. Are you Indian? naw
9. Are you Irish? no
10.Are you Finnish: try again
11.Are you Polish: no
12. Are you Swedish: meatballs

Filipino with a bit of Spanish, Chinese, and Other

DO YOU:
1. Do you get depressed about things easily? depends on how much newcastle was in the glass before it got spilled over
2. Do you live life to the fullest? I try not to waste a day
3. Are you comfortable with the way you look? yes
4. How do you dress? yes
5. Are you scared of growing old alone? nope
6. What do you want to be when you grow up? content
8. Are you a vegetarian? no
9. Current song your listening to? J-Live - Timeless

And that's me in a general nutshell.
As far as what I'm looking for, a pulse would be ideal.
In my adventures in dating, I've learned not to date out of boredom an' that I should be more selective.
4 crazies in a row an' a changed number kinda do that to a person.

I am bein' more picky but if you can cover these 4 main points, feel free to contact me.
- great smile
- sense of humor
- of legal age in the state of California
- genetically born a woman

I still believe that the dating process should be used to filter out any red-flags.
So far my red-flags are common sense things.
I'd list them, but this one's gettin' kinda lengthy an' I've noticed diminished attention spans in the general populace.

And in case you missed it, I am capable of dating multiple ladies at the same time.
I'm very upfront about it.
If you're comfortable with that fact, let's talk.
If not, just send me an add friend request on myspace.
-------------------------------------------

Peer pressure can be a bitch at times.
I noticed everyone else was trying out that wacky flu virus that was hitting all the states.
Mid-February I decided to try it out.

I should've went with competitive ferret herding.

Flu.
Career move.
New cellphone number.
Change in dating procedure(s).
Change in address at the end of the week.

Those are my excuse for laggin' on my postings.
Fear not masses!
I've posted another one.
Although it's not geared towards people I already know.

Should be back to standards next week.

Shout House.
Downtown SD.
March 15th.
Think about it.

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 27
The Random Quote:
"I'm just looking for someone to inspire more than a hard-on for me." - Anonymous

This should be the makings of a brand new original post.
But the cold I was dealin' with over the weekend turned out to be the flu.
Just in time for my first day of work at my brand new job tomorrow.

Good times.
So yea, this is just a filler.
At least until I get healthier.
Feel free to enjoy this clip of musical goodness.
I just haven't been able to get enough of it recently.

And then there’s a mini-date story.

Before I start, I just wanted to wish everyone Happy Chinese New Years/Valentine's Day/Singles Awareness Day/Happy Birthday!
'Cuz I'm not sure if I'm goin' to be gettin' around to an individual post centered specifically on any of those subjects.

Mini-date.
I define it as a quick gathering between two potential dating prospects that lasts for no more than an hour.
Nothing significant, it's more of an interview an' decidin' on wether or not there's any physical attraction.
Point is, I had one today.
Er, yesterday.
Late Saturday afternoon 'fore a karaoke run.

This is the second dating prospect sent my way via one of my Starbucks friends.
Real talk, a Starbucks friend I wouldn't mind gettin' to know on a more regular basis.
That's right, I said it.
And now I've typed it.
I know you enjoy reading these.
Her friends're as fun as she is personality-wise so I guess that counts for some consolation.
Like her first friend, she arranges a meeting between us at her workplace.
In case you haven't guessed yet, it's a Starbucks.

I love the way they prepare my hot chocolate for me.
Which is what I ordered.
Turns out I arrived a lil' early an' her friend was runnin' late.

For now I'm gonna let you have a lil' fun an' try to guess her friend's name.
Since I tend to leave 'em anonymous out of respect for their privacy.
Starts with a "P"
Ends with "atricia"

Why did I just bother to do that?
'Cuz I like that joke an' she doesn't mind this bein' somewhat public knowledge.
Apparently she enjoys my stories also.
Which I steadily keep digressing from.

With wonderful Starbucks hot chocolate in hand, I take a seat outside.
Put on my bluetooth stereo headset an' jam to music contained on my Helio Ocean.
Situated nicely, I take out a pack of Benson & Hedges menthols an' light one with my mini-navy blue BIC lighter.
(Heavy product placement because I'm all hyped up about Superbowl commercials)

Sometime later on, a lady walks into my line of vision.
If I read her lips correctly, she just told me: "I'd like to give you a blowjob."
Bein' the smooth guy that I am, I find myself in mid-sip coughing and spilling hot chocolate onto my shirt.
It probably burned me a little at the time, but I didn't notice because I was still tryin' to process what just happened.

I take my headphones off.
I raise an eyebrow.
My left one because it's scarred an' sexy.
She makes the motion of a blowjob.
"Yea... I heard that right."

One helluva way to introduce yourself.
At this juncture of the story, I do need to point out that I didn't take her up on her offer.
Because EVERY person I've told this story to so far asked me that when I got to this point of the story.
Veeeerrrrrrrry tempting though.
If only I had a different moral set...

So yea, she said it with a smile.
Granted, it was a very seductive an' devious smile.
A really great smile.
She also laughed at my response.
So I'm under the assumption that she was joking.
'Cuz I don't think I'll ever be used to women THAT forward with me.

After that fun lil' introduction we got to know each other a lil' better.
Mostly through dating stories.
Which is kinda like how my first job interview went last week.
Dating stories.
After hearing hers, she seems like a very fun woman.
At the very least, the makings of a great friend.
Maybe my volunteer for speed dating.
Or a friend with benefits.
'Cuz if memory serves me correctly, that's what she was hinting at for 40 some-odd minutes.

Damn my morals.
I think at this rate I'm gonna eventually get to the point where I say "Fuck it!" and well... fuck "it."
At least that way some of you can live more vicariously through my exploits.

Who knows?
Such a fun question.

*sigh*
So many fun stories compiled over the last few days.
I'm savin' the next rd. until next week.
You just got two in one sitting.
Stop bein' greedy.

Application Form to Date My Daughter

That of course assumes I have a daughter and/or get married an' pro-create.
I don't have offspring, yet I already feel bad for them.
'Specially when they get to their teens.
The following is a rough cut of an application form I intend to have potential boyfriends fill out while they're waiting for my daughter to get ready.
If I can't get a son named Guy, I figure this'll make for a nice compromise.

------------------------------------------------
Name:
Birthdate:
Occupation:
Shoe Size:
Contact Information:

Please note that any information given will be remembered by both parents at every meeting hereafter.
Your answers reflect the quality of your character and also heavily influences your chances of dating our daughter.
No pressure.
We just want HONEST answers.

1. Do You know the answer to this question?

2. How did you meet our daughter?

3. What color was her underwear that day?

4. Honest opinion, what do you think of her?

5. Have any sexual scenarios played out in your mind involving her yet?
5a. If so, how many and please describe one in great detail.

6. How many wet dreams have involved her so far?

7. Did you know her father killed a man once? On purpose.

8. You do realize there's enough room in the backyard to bury one more body right?

9. What were you doing a year ago from today?

10. Do you know the muffin man?

11. If you had 5 words to describe yourself, use two of them now.

12. What do you plan to do with your life?

13. Do you like my throwing knife collection? I keep them sharpened daily.

14. My wife has a great rack doesn't she?

15. Do you think that's why my daughter enjoys wearing low-cut tops?

16. If I tell you I want my daughter home by 11pm you have her home by...?

17. Do you believe in Scientology?
If yes, please consider application void and vacate premises immediately.

18. What is your general plan for the first date?

19. Are you expecting physical intimacy?
19b. If so, what kind and for how long?

20. What's the number for 911?

21. Do you have insurance?

*Please note, for the next series of questions, you might want to think VERY carefully before you answer.

22. Lakers fan?

23. Chargers fan?

24. Fan of Bill Walton?

25. Do you like penguins?

Thank you for your time.
Please drop off your application along with your blood, urine, and semen sample at [home address] during the hours of 3pm-6pm.
After analysis and a tribal council, we will get back to you within the next couple days and let you know.
Good luck.
------------------------------------------------

Again, rough cut.
Best I could come up with after 10mins. of brainstorming.
Ideally the final draft will have 50 questions.
Possibly 50 pages.
We'll see.
Any ideas, suggestions, criticisms are greatly appreciated.

And now to address a few questions the first proofreaders had.
- I like random.
- Been a Lakers an' Chargers Fan since birth.
- Bill Walton's an inside joke between myself an' my best friend. Personally, I'm not a fan of his.
- I figure if the kids willing to fill this form out, he's two steps closer to bein' a son-in-law. Ideally my daughter would have a better sense of who the crazies are then her father did.

Current Brain Age: 20
Current Wii Fitness Age: 26
The Random Quote:
"Excuse me miss. Have I turned you down before?" - Anonymous